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June 12, 2012 / moreorlesley

Worst Nightmares

I’ve been thinking a lot about if certain things happened and how annoyed, angry, and or upset they would make me. If any of the following actually happened I may have to be committed.

A movie starring Michael Cera and Kristen Stewart

I’ve already gone into detail about how I’d rather watch paint dry than watch Kristen Stewart act. Mainly because most of the time she looks constipated and her attitude in interviews just kind of sucks. Cera is this generation’s Tony Danza. Yeah, I went there. He only plays himself. Hollywood tries to cover this up by switching up his characters’ names, but I’m not buying it. What’s even more aggravating is people make him seem like he’s a comic genius. No, he’s not. At least Danza kept up guessing Who’s the Boss for 8 seasons. What has Cera done besides act awkward? That’s what I thought. I’d rather watch an hour long special about Kim Kardashian getting a manicure than see these 2 interact. At least with the Kardashian special there’s a 70% chance Kanye West will make a cameo.

English Bulldogs becoming extinct

I don’t care if these dogs have been deemed “walking death sentences” they’re the cutest breed. Ever. It’s very unfortunate that they have short life spans and a lot of health problems, I’d save them all if I could. I don’t even want to think about a world without them. If that’s ever the case, there’s no hope for humanity. None.

Toddlers and Tiaras getting cancelled

This show is my favorite train wreck and if it ever went off the air, I’d be one sad panda.  Especially because since Whitney Houston’s passing I’ve had to put my impression of her into semi-retirement. Until Lindsay Lohan or Amanda Bynes do a hot mess interview with Diane Sawyer, my celebrity impressions are limited to T & T contestants. My Honey Boo Boo and McKenzie ones are pretty impressive. Besides, there are plenty more obese woman hoping to live vicariously through their offspring in the pageant circuit.I don’t see this going off the air anytime soon thankfully since “The Learning Channel” is now producing a spin-off starring Alana “Honey Boo Boo” called, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” Ain’t that America.

Dunkin Donuts going out of business

I can’t speak for the rest of America about running on Dunkin. But I certainly do. If they ever went out of business it’s a sure sign the Apocalypse is nigh.

E.L James and Stephenie Meyer collaborating on a book


50 Shades of Grey and Twilight were bad enough as separate entities. But if these 2 broads ever team up to write a book about a dumb, klutzy, annoying chick with no redeeming qualities yet every man finds irresistible, who falls for a vampire with a red room of pain, let’s just say book burning should come back with a vengeance.

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One Comment

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  1. littletash / Jun 12 2012 3:31 pm

    I’m with you on all of the above, particularly the Toddlers in Tiaras and the James-Meyer mash-up – yuk!

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